Never done talking

There are people in my life with whom I am never done talking. Never. Not even in theory. If we were stranded on a deserted island together, with no WiFi, no coffee, no social media, and absolutely nothing new happening, we would still manage to have conversations about coconuts, the color of sand, or why seagulls always sound personally offended. We would probably even end up discussing whether a coconut is actually a nut. (It is not. Go check it.) That is the first category of people: the ones with whom silence simply does not exist.

The magical conversational flow

With these people, conversation is basically mental ping-pong. The ball never hits the floor. It just keeps bouncing from topic to topic like it had six espressos and a personal mission.

We talk about childhood memories, strange dreams, why you always press snooze three times in the morning, and whether the word “gezellig” can ever truly be translated.

Sometimes I genuinely believe we could fill an entire day with completely unnecessary but deeply important topics like:

• Why dogs always choose to sit on your white trousers specifically
• How to choose an avocado without emotionally damaging it in the supermarket
• Why socks seem to teleport but keys never do

There is no structure. No plan. The conversation just happens.

Even after eight hours together, nobody says, “Well, that was everything, let’s now sit in silence forever.” No. Someone will suddenly go: “Wait, did you read that article about people thinking the moon is fake?”

And off we go again.

And then there are the other people

On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are people with whom conversation feels like a compulsory Monday morning German class at 08:15 in a windowless room.

Something is said. You nod. There is a silence that feels like five days instead of five seconds. And then it happens.

That inhale.

“Jhah.”

You know exactly what I mean. Try it. Really. Exhale completely. And then on your next inhale, say softly, almost dramatically:

“Jhah.”

Yes. That one. The passive-aggressive agreement that means absolutely nothing but also ends nothing.

At that point, we are just waiting for someone to kindly suggest: “Maybe we should go?”

Smalltalk as a survival sport

Some people are Olympic-level smalltalkers. They can talk for hours without saying anything at all.

“Yes, it is getting warmer.”
“Yes, yesterday was colder.”
“Yes, very strange actually.”

Jhah.

It is a kind of conversational musical chairs. You keep moving, keep talking, but nobody knows why or where it is going. And when it finally collapses, there is always that last desperate rescue attempt:

“Any plans for the weekend?”
“Going on holiday soon?”

At the hairdresser, this is basically code for: please, let us not die in silence right now.

Silence is not always awkward

To be fair, silence is not always bad. With the right people, silence is actually comfortable. Even nice.

You can sit together without talking and still feel completely connected. No pressure, no performance, just being there.

That only works with the first category though. The people you can also talk endlessly with about cat videos, toddler drawings that accidentally look like Picasso, and why toast at 2 AM feels like a life decision.

Why does it work with some people?

I do not fully know. Shared humor? Energy? Soul frequency? Are our brains just on the same WiFi network?

Or do we simply recognize each other as the same kind of slightly chaotic human being. The kind that laughs too loud, talks too much, and only uses “jhah” as a joke.

Maybe it is chemistry. Not romantic chemistry. Just conversational chemistry.

Like when someone says “I hate coriander,” and the other immediately responds: “It tastes like soap!”

Then you know. This is safe ground.

The moral of the story

Not everyone needs to be an endless conversation partner. Some people are like coffee machines. Quick, functional, efficient, and slightly transactional.

Others are long summer evenings on a terrace. You sit, you talk, you laugh, you lose track of time without even noticing.

So if you have people like that in your life, the ones you never run out of things to say to, keep them close. Call them, text them, meet them, talk nonsense with them.

And if you ever find yourself stuck in an awkward “jhah” conversation, just remember: at least you will have something funny to tell the people you can actually talk to until sunrise.

“Jhah…”

And now you have read this blog. You probably already know which category you are in.